Slightly More Than Two Pints of Lager..

Helen Parton raises a glass to BBC2’s midweek schedule.

Watching Never Mind the Buzzcocks(10pm, BBC2) with one’s beer goggles on is probably like watching Gardeners World while donning wellies, or I dunno, wearing a policeman’s uniform when watching The Bill (y’see how you can really ruin a good opening line by running out of analogies to back it up).

In contrast to this blog’s previous review, I love this show. And I love it even more when I am as pissed as some of the their recent contestants have been – Amy Winehouse slurring all over the place and Donny Tourette going awol have been some of the best TV moments of the year, racialist (sic) outbursts on Celebrity Big Brother notwithstanding.

Last night, Simon Amstell presided over guests including Nick (the slightly mardy, duckfaced one, not the ruddy cheeked one) from Kaiser Chiefs, Dom Joly and Sinitta, the latter of whom seems to achieved such a marvellous anti-ageing job that Celebrity Beauty Editor Nadine Baggott and Andie ‘is it raining, I hadn’t noticed’ MacDowell must be seething. And, partial as I am to duck-faced drummers, it was Jonas Armstrong a.k.a. Robin Hood a.k.a. Joe Cole who brought some serious eye candy to the proceedings – so much so, looking done at my wobbly scrawl in red biro I appear to have written ‘Tottytastic’ . Clearly, I have missed my calling on more! magazine. Armstrong bore the brunt of most of the gags: ‘It’s Robin of Hollyoaks’ ‘C’mon guys, we’ve all had some mead’ and did it with the good grace that Preston Ordinary Boy (never has a band name surname seemed more apt) would do well to learn from.

My favourite part of the show, the identity parade, did not disappoint and I found myself thinking as Rik Waller stepped forward that he did have lovely flowing locks and quite a nice face after all – Christ how many had I had? Too many to prevent myself from falling off the sofa at one point, that’s for sure.

I’ve missed quite a few episodes of Party Animals (9pm, BBC2), now, which is a real shame – as far as I can tell just about everyone is shagging each other now and I can’t keep my eyes off of both ferrety faced Danny Foster and his brother Scott. However, more interestingly, this is what I found out about the woman who plays the slutty journalist, Clemency Burton Hill (what kind of a name is that for chrissakes!): ‘Clemency got a First in English at Cambridge. She's been a model and a journalist and has appeared in a number of shows including Hustle and Midsomer Murders’

A cure for cancer and achieving world peace is surely on the cards for her next career move presumably? Still, bet she couldn’t drink Winehouse or me under the table.